Thursday, December 29, 2016

How to Lose Your Brain

Six Ways to an Empty Head...

You have billions of brain cells. Who needs that many, right? So, if you don’t care about losing some of them, lots of them, here is a short list on how to do it more quickly and make it permanent: 

• Eat lots of fatty animal tissue—beef, pork, packaged meats. 

• Skip the green foods, the fruits, the seeds, nuts, and veggies, especially that awful stuff that comes right out of the ground. 

• Don’t exercise. Watch more TV. 

• Up the caffeine. Sleep less. 

• Smoke more. Drink more alcohol. (Some say wine doesn’t count as booze so bottoms up!) 

• Finally, if anything goes wrong, have lots of legal—and not so legal—drugs on hand. No need to worry any further. Pop a pill and you’re covered. 

Results? Heart disease, cancer, diabetes, stroke, kidney and liver damage, vision, hearing, and bone loss, addiction, and of course, lots of dead brain cells. But who cares? It’s your life. Do as you will. 

I’m not reprimanding, only reminding, for I have sinned “more than ye all.” But ultimately, your brain, your very being, is not yours alone. We need you to be at your physical, emotional, and spiritual best. You could be the one who tips the world aright. (Don’t laugh…it could happen!) 

If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to come to the rescue when you’re needed. 

You’re needed right now. More than ever. 

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