Thursday, January 12, 2017

Forgiveness? Oh, No, Not Me. I Just Can't! (Really?)

By Richard Kent Matthews

Set yourself free!
"If I forgive, they go free." Wrong.

I know. I get it. You've been hurt--perhaps deeply--and even disrespected. Or you've suffered any number of aggravated 'assaults' upon your person, your character, your life. It's nasty. I've had my share. 

And I have carried a lot of resentment and anger over the years.

Did all that irrational emotion serve me? Yes. And extremely well. It allowed me to stay wrapped up in self-pity for many years. It felt good, even necessary.

I felt totally and completely justified. (Self pity is a kind of drug and can easily become addicting.)

That is, until I realized, as the saying goes, while I was holding the grudges, they were out dancing. They had moved on. I was still trapped.

Turns out, all that bitterness was hurting only one person: Me.

It took time and personal courage but, as tough as it was, I finally discovered the secret to forgiveness. Take it or leave it but this is all there is to it. Get this and you go free:

Forgiveness is simply letting go of the desire, the need, to punish.

The only person you let off the hook is you. And the path turns to gold.

When you hold onto resentment, bitterness, and the need to punish, you allow the 'Other' to control you.

You really don't want that, now do you?

"One joy scatters a hundred griefs." Chinese Proverb

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