Feeling Sorry for Yourself? - As You Think, So You Are--The Series, Part 4

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Feeling sorry for yourself, Bunky?

A lot of stuff may get in your way, but the greatest of these may well be SELF-PITY!

How to end your own sense of victimhood:


Continuing Principles...

>Life is good right here, right now. It’s a matter of how you choose to experience it.

Some ‘metaphysical’ teachers insist that everything is your fault. You are responsible for it all. In one respect, that’s true. As we take more responsibility for our lives and our experiences, we have less stress, suffering, and emotional pain. But….

Sometimes things just happen. The tree outside falls on the house and your child is killed in his bedroom. The drunk driver hits your car at the intersection and causes thousands of dollars/pesos/francs/pounds in damage. Or your company suddenly closes its doors, forcing you into the unemployment line.

Those things can definitely make you feel like a victim.

The secret is the mindset. Yes, we all fall ‘victim’ to circumstance now and then. It’s the nature of being on this planet. Yes, it hurts, sometimes excruciatingly so. It's not about minimizing or denying the circumstances; they're 'real' enough. Grieving is a natural response to such things. Grief is often the beginning of healing.

Once the grief begins to subside, we have a choice.

We can succumb to the challenges permanently. Or we can approach them from a different angle.

>You can create your own miracles. They are not supernatural.

The Buddha reminds us Life Is Suffering. How we decide to deal with it is the key. You can bemoan your bad luck. You can call it Fate. You can blame God, demons, anything. And as long as you blame, the suffering will continue. You remain The Victim.

Remember, pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice. Right now, in this moment, no matter what it is you are going through, you can make the decision to see it from a different perspective. You can choose to end suffering by realizing ‘This, too, shall pass.’ You can end suffering simply by stepping out of self-pity and into self appreciation. 

You are not alone. The universe has your back, Jack!

You know, self pity may just be the greatest block to your joy, your peace, your satisfaction. As long as self-pity remains, suffering remains.

>You can create the life you want as long as you are willing to take full responsibility for your creations.

I recently watched a TV special featuring a young man with no arms or legs entering a marathon for people with disabilities. He smiled as he was interviewed and made it clear that his disability did not disable him. When the starting gun sounded, he managed to maneuver his body down the track with the rest of the group. He finished last, but he finished. And was still smiling.

I was actually a bit intimidated by his determination. I figured if he could do such amazing things, I could stop feeling sorry for myself over what turns out to be pretty petty stuff by comparison.

No matter your apparent challenges, life if good. Life is available. As long as you make the decision to take full responsibility for all that comes into your life; as long as you choose to release self-pity; as long as you open to all possibilities; and as long as you refuse to play The Victim, the world will part like the Red Sea and allow you to pass.

Just as it has done, right up to this very moment, in spite of appearances!

All comments welcome.

Next time: The Practice of Compassion

Link to all posts in the As You  Think series here.