Thursday, April 12, 2018

How to Unclench: Three Steps to Ahhhhh!

By Richard Kent Matthews - Coach | Author | Speaker

Let your best colors shine through. 

What you really want is to relax. Here's how!

“We carry within us the wonders we seek [outside] us.” Sir Thomas Browne

You’re seeking something. You’re not sure what it might be, but you know something is missing. Perhaps it’s a relationship? Or a new career? Or a different kind of spiritual walk? Maybe a new car, a new home, or a new city. Yeah, that’s it. If you just move to another city, start over, and get clear, all your challenges will be over, problems solved.


Here’s the thing… No matter where you go, what you do, or whom you know, you’ll always be the center of it all. You. The one with the challenges. The one with the problems. The whiner, the complainer, the one who holds the grudge. You take that all with you. It’s stuck to you as if by rubber cement. Glued to you. You cannot escape YOU.

Ok, then, what? Where? Why? How?

Two words: Let go.

Hardest practice on the planet. How do you just let go, and what is it you’re letting go of?

Good question.

Three recommendations:

>Be honest with yourself. One of the reasons you’re so tense is that you haven’t been completely open about all that stuff you have kept buried. Well, maybe not buried, but beneath the surface. You rarely confront it all. Now is a good time. What is holding you by the throat? Observation can make it easier to face, to see how non-threatening it actually is. (No need to share it with anyone else, by the way. They really wouldn't understand, no matter how much they say they would. Shhh.)

>Clarify your values. Sometimes what you really believe to be the best way to live clashes with the rules set down for you by others…parents, school, the church, the government. What gives you a sense of 'Yeah, this is what I truly believe'? Are you living in line with your own integrity, your authenticity, your truth? Step out, step up, live your values...without breaking the law, of course. 

>Breathe. What? Breathe? Aren’t I doing that all the time anyway? Yeah, kinda, but not really. Most of the time you are breathing in a shallow manner that doesn’t allow all the oxygen to get your brain. Deep breathing not only propels more ‘nutrition’ to the brain, it is one of the best ways to relax. No rule here, just breathe with intention. Not all the time; that’s probably not possible. But when you think about it, take deep, cleansing breathes. You’ll begin to notice a big difference in your approach to daily living. Letting go will start to come naturally. 

See? Nothing too taxing about all this. You’re not giving up anything. Just your tension.

To relax is what you’re seeking. Always.

Be honest, clarify your values, and breathe with intent. How much simpler could it get?

Are you ready to unclasp your hands, your jaw, your buttocks? To relax? No rush. When you’re ready. Now you know how.

By the way, you will eventually become so relaxed and confident, the people in your life will wonder what the heck you're up to. 


Comments always welcome.

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